Abyss Of Pain

Ever had those moments, where all was well, the breeze is as it should, loved ones doing the most to assure you of their love and affection towards you?

Yet the minute you close that door, after that sweet warm hug, there it is

That gushing, a raid, an avalanche, a hurt so tangible, A pain so unshakeable.

How?

When?

Where?

Where have you been hiding?

How come you only show up when my people have gone?

Why is it so hard to stop gaslighting myself when it comes you?

What is it about you that puts me at loss for words when I open that text to report you to them?

Why so hideous yet so real?

And where did you get the power to weaken me? You cripple me with just a whisper

All this self doubt, beating myself up, why do you gang up on me with my failures, mistakes?

Why do you have to rally all my rejection experiences, my downtrodden scars?

Are you that much of a coward huh?

That you ambush me and I can barely whisper a prayer to God?

Where do you creep up from?

Which cave?

For I may need to close it!

I am done with you

This is not working

I am tired!!!

 

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