COVID 19, PARENTS AND MENTAL HEALTH.

There are numerous things in life that we prepare for or aptly adjust for when they arrive, COVID 19 decided it won’t be one. With a great number of us either nursing or mourning the loss of people so dear to us, this season has proved heavy and before I go any further, know that I am sending you and your loved ones, all the love, healing and good wishes. May we make it out alive and well.

While spending time with my friend, Pesh recently, we watched a movie called The Otherhood; a comedy that gives us a glimpse into the lives of 3 moms who grapple with their children being independent and distant while addressing the different issues each had with their sons, I won’t go into details however it got me thinking about my own parents and how human they are, their mental health and how the pandemic may be affecting not just their finances but also their wellbeing. 

Should you find that you are struggling through this time, it’s understandable. Don’t be hard on yourself.

We are a generation that is doing our best to question why things are the way they are and embracing more conversations about how better we can take care of our mental health however when you look at our parents and all that’s going on, most do not show any sign of emotional pain or weakness. This is probably due to upbringing, limited understanding and awareness. Or maybe because in their minds, that’s just how things have been and they neither know any better nor have any idea how to change. 

With the numerous loss of age mates, workmates, etc especially during the first and second wave in Uganda, who is helping the parents cope? Do they have fear of death everytime it claims a loved one? Are they just sucking it all in because that’s life and how strength is measured? Is there a possibility of packaging mental health to the older generation and let them know that it is okay to be shaken by the turn of events? 

Going back to the movie, when most of our parents had us, their lives were suddenly pivoted towards raising and taking care of us, they did what they could to prepare us for adulthood, sometimes bringing a strain in our relationships with them due to how they tried to live vicariously through us, while others left us with a number of attachment issues.

Most of our parents are silently battling grief, for some it’s manifesting through physical illness due to the pandemic.

 We are trying to deconstruct a system that glorifies suffering and endurance even when you ought to live. We are attending to all we are so we can be better and healed people. So how do we repackage things like therapy, processing trauma, healthy ways of relieving of stress to our parents?

I notice it’s easier for me to encourage my friends, I may know what to say to them but how do I help stand and extend this to my parents. The other thing that is eating at my brain is the fact that most parents struggle with how to adjust when we are now becoming our own persons, the existence of empty nest syndrome, how many of them are suffering silently? How many are able to continue living out their purpose outside having had us?

Any one has ideas or suggestions? I seem to only have questions.